Rape survivor copes through comedy
Ithaca, N.Y. – To anyone else keeping warm at the bar, it looked like an average night of drinks between two old college friends, reunited at their alma mater on a cold winter night in Ithaca. But, looking back to that January 2014 evening, Molly McDowell knows the man buying her alcohol had a much more calculated plan in mind.
“It’s absolutely infuriating,” McDowell said. “When I first found out they weren’t going to press charges, I just burst into tears. In that moment, it felt like my life was over.”
McDowell said a former Cornell Hockey player, who she has known since college, raped her last year. They first met when she was only 18 years old. She is 33 now, and though the scar is still fresh in her mind, she is choosing to cope through comedy.
“I found myself just cracking jokes about it in a really, really dark way—obviously—because there’s no light way to make jokes about rape,” she said.
Throughout February, McDowell has performed a comedy set about the assault at venues around central New York. On Feb. 11, she took the stage at Lot 10 Bar and Lounge on South Cayuga Street in Ithaca.
“This is something that we should be talking about. I want it to be a conversation starter,” she said.
The man she said raped her will never spend time in prison due to a lack of physical evidence. But, McDowell has channeled her frustrations into the routine and feels satisfaction knowing her alleged attacker has seen video of her set.
“She gets the best response at the open mics because that crowd understands that her set is a work in progress and they have more respect for comedy as an art form and humor as a coping mechanism,” said Francisco Ruben Arce, who has run open mic nights at Lot 10 for nearly three years. “I’ve seen audiences stay almost silent throughout her set and I’ve also seen them laugh heartily.”
Only about 30 percent of rapes are reported to police and of total rapes only about 7 percent lead to an arrest, according to the Justice Department. McDowell, who worked for a domestic violence organization before moving to Ithaca from Connecticut, did not report her rape at first. It was only after confiding in a friend that she got the Cornell University Police involved. Even though the department was unable to build a case that would put her attacker away, McDowell had nothing but kind words for the investigators.
“I don’t think most law enforcement agencies take rape and sexual assault seriously, but I think Cornell does,” she said.
One of the investigators later accompanied her to civil court, where she successfully got an order of protection against the alleged perpetrator.
“The safety, health and well-being of the victim is of the utmost importance,” Kathy Zoner, chief of the university’s police force, said. “The recounting of the sexual assault alone can be traumatizing, and there are certainly aspects of evidence gathering that can be very difficult for victims of sexual assault, even when done well and with great care and compassion.”
McDowell understands why some people might not watch her set, especially if they are victims themselves.
“It’s my story. It’s my journey, and this is what I’m choosing to do with it,” she said.
Moving forward, McDowell said, she hopes there will be more education in schools about consent.
Stephen Adams 